flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
