i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
