i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
