Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
