Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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