We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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