"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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