Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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