i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
