I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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