I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
