we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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