Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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