Your tits are I can't wait for
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
