Will you blow on my dice?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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