ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and she was petting her beer can
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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