Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
