You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
