i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
