i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
