so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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