I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
