So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
