sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm bleeding and have questions
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
