Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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