But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
