He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
