SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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