he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
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Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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