mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
