Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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