i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
