How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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