Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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