my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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