bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You've changed since you got that strap on
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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