Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
