Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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