nutella sex= disaster
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
