the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
