you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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