u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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