4 words: hood of his car
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Pants are for mortals
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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