his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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