i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
