I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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