she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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