Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
