Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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