I'm drive I can fine osifer
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
