I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
