she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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