You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
