wrigley field is MILF paradise
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
