The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
